Now go we in content, To liberty and not to banishment
– As you like it
“This is not mine” was my first thought when I found myself outside of my usual place I dream about. For those who don’t know it’s an apple orchard at dusk. It’s the place I generally wander into during meditations too. It’s simple and the apples have meaning for me. 90% of the time I just have dreams about an apple orchard. Sometimes it’s a water fall but most of the time it’s an orchard.
I tend to set the scene before I sleep. It was a habit I had gotten into. When I do that I have a really peaceful sleep and I don’t wake up feeling like I’ve been running a marathon all night long.
Lately I’ve been tired or lazy so I have bypassed that little ritual and gone straight to sleep. Usually my last thought of the night will set the tone for my dreams though this is not always the case.
As always, I’m curious when I end up somewhere in my dream state that’s unfamiliar. I’m not sure why I felt this dream state wasn’t mine. It just didn’t feel like it was my energy. I couldn’t get a sense of whether it was male or female either. I was in a forest at night time that was utterly void of life. The forest itself though felt alive, the darkness felt like it had its own awareness. I looked up at the moon and it felt wrong. Immediately I had the impression that nothing here is as it seems. The trees kept moving and changing. Sometimes they were transparent and sometimes they were solid. I felt that since I was here for a reason I might as well look around. I didn’t feel I was going to wake up anytime soon anyway. I felt I had nothing to worry about. The scene didn’t feel bad, it just felt wrong. The kind of wrongness that tells you to be wary.
As I went deeper the moon disappeared. I could just make out the trees around me and they still continued to change. I eventually found what I was looking for and I was surprised to discover that it was a child. He was dark skinned and his energy, grounded and fiercely protective was familiar. He looked about 12 and he was fighting with branches from the trees that had come to life. They looked like tentacles grabbing at him. As quickly as he fended them off they reappeared. There were some that were transparent and still managing to grab at him. I expected him to be afraid but that was something I definitely didn’t feel when I looked at him. He felt angry and frustrated, but he also felt determined and his determination was fierce. As young as he was he moved like a dancer. Graceful and focused. Battling against a seemingly endless wave of attacks from things he struggled to see. He snapped each branch that tried to grab at him with ease and waited for the next wave to come. As angry and determined as he was he was getting tired and the fatigue was starting to show. He fought on and I realised he was moving by instinct. “I should help” I thought and I threw him an apple. Distracted he caught it and as He took a bite the branches disappeared. He still looked wary as he looked at me while eating the apple but he said nothing and I felt compelled to just watch and stay silent. I handed him another apple and he took it, this time with a little less hesitation. He kept his distance though and he was still wary.
I started to hear noise and movement in the forest, like it had just been asleep and it was waking up. I heard crickets, bats screeching through the trees, the sound of things scurrying and scampering and the hum of insects. The forest was coming to life once more.
I looked back to where he was standing and he was gone. I heard the faint ruffle of wings like a bird was taking flight. I saw a group of fireflies dart off and illuminate a lake that wasn’t there before. The water was dark but it was calm and soothing. Always a good sign as water dream symbols go I guess.
I felt compelled to leave like there was nothing more to see here. The sky was beginning to lighten and the awareness I felt from the trees was gone. It was just a forest, a dark forest but still, just a forest nothing more. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
I looked back to where he once stood and the shadows moved and formed a set of wings. Part of one looked broken and burnt but it was healing. They solidified and grew to stretch out over the forest protecting it. That familiar protective energy projected out over the forest bringing to life everything underneath it.
It really reminded me of this by the way (minus the person)
“He’ll be fine” was my last thought.
Behind the dream
Usually I don’t dream about people I don’t have any kind of connection to, be it energetic or otherwise, so I found this one particularly interesting. That said it does happen from time to time. To this day I’m not entirely sure why I had it. In the waking world I’ve only ever been an observer when it comes to this person. I feel that’s all it was, an observation, a subconscious take on events that occurred, and the way I view him within them as I don’t know him personally. It was so rich with symbolism that I decided to post it. The age of the child and the dream symbols feel like they mean something and their meaning is just beyond my comprehension. It could be that because I have no connection to that person whatsoever I just couldn’t figure it out even if I wanted to.
Ugh. I hate dreams like that.
So I’m going to follow A’s advice and treat him as a character who happened to be in my dream. It’s also my own dream so there are a lot of things there for me I could learn from, that way it feels a lot less creepy as fuck.
Things that stood out:
- The vibe of the dream: I was reminded of Edgar Allan Poe and his poem “The Raven”. The symbolism or theme is not exactly Poe-esque obviously but the vibe of it definitely is.
- The wings: Following on from my previous comment the wings were the wings of a Raven and not that of a black swan which would have made more sense than this does. Ravens are totems in our culture and they’re usually messengers. I’m sure it’s not just ours too. They fly between the realm of the living and the realm of the dead. To us they’re never an ominous sign. They remind me of the death card in Tarot. Deep transformation but in this case it’s in the spiritual sense. Putting to rout the old as the new is coming.
- The age of the child: it might be an age significant for him but it definitely was for me given that the dream that followed this one was of me at 12 with my current awareness.
- “This is not mine” and the grabby branches: they both seemed connected. They also felt outside of him in the dream. It’s not an inner battle but circumstances and situations outside of his control. I don’t think that life needs to be or should be an endless battle with your shadows because then you’re never truly present. I think sometimes it’s important to remember that there are so many things outside of our control and we often figure out exactly what we are made of when we are forced to face that fact.
- The awareness of the forest: I felt it represented people, quite a lot of them actually, but I couldn’t make out anyone in particular. It felt like that grabby energy I can’t stand about certain people that I typically try to avoid both in the waking world and in dreams. I think it’s time to actively disengage from people like that.
- Determination: I was reminded of a gladiator actually when I was mapping this out. For starters that had to be one of the shittiest jobs in Ancient Rome. It’s the mindset that resonates with me. They fought with the knowledge that they could die yet they fought with everything they had. Those that expected defeat usually met a gruesome end. In their mind they went into that arena to win, and a combination of complete belief and skill is what I think enabled those that lived to emerge as victors. That same vibe and mindset is what I feel here when I think about it. It’s a bit of a reminder for me too to view the things I strive for from this perspective. “Set mind to task and eyes to purpose” is a quote I keep thinking of (It’s from the tv series Spartacus)
- The Lake and the fireflies: My thought process on the lake from my mind map was emotions – darkness – depth – emotional depth. For the fireflies it was illuminate – Spark – idea. I always associate fire with creativity, ideas and passion. Rarely have I associated it with anything negative. The process of illuminating the depth of something to bring awareness and understanding to your perspective. That’s all I’ve got right now.
- The protective familiar energy: In the dream when I felt it I instantly thought of the person I am associating it with in this blog. I think as dream symbols go I’m going to go with how I see him. Protective, stable, focused, grounded and strong. I think he can also symbolise some of the men I am lucky to have in my life right now. At this point in my life I am more focused and determined than I ever have been.
- He’ll be fine: It felt more like a “Things are gonna work out” kinda line. I’m sure the person in question will be fine though.
- Apples: Metaphor for love and life force energy to me. The orchard is just a dream representation of all of the things and people I love. Sharing of apples, an equal exchange of energy. Teaching and learning. I’ve felt drawn to teach and specifically children. I also feel drawn to start a crèche / co-op. I wonder if this is reminding me of that? Hm.
I think that’s it.