Where to I have invited many a guest, such as I love, and you among the store
– Romeo and Juliet
This dream was all about food with a few different elements thrown in. It got me thinking.
I went to visit family. A side of my family I adore. It was interesting that it was on the eve of my grandfathers passing a year to the day he passed. My grandfather gave me my middle name and was the one who told me to get rid of my family name. Thus, getting rid of the crap associated with being a member of that particular family.
He asked me to complete a traditional tattoo that is only half done. They come in stages, and like our names, they also come in dreams. There are particular people in our family who do them, one of them will come forward with the design and at the moment I’m the only one who knows what it’s meant to look like. They’ll say what they dreamt and if it connects with me it’ll get done. That’s how it tends to work with my tribe. He was saying that it needs to be done before I take a journey and leave here for good. I didn’t ask which one of the artists is doing it and I probably should have. I also didn’t ask when this was all supposed to go down. In reality, I don’t see myself leaving here anytime soon. I do see myself leaving eventually but that eventually feels a long way from now.
I got my tattoo done and went on a shopping tour with my mother that my mother had paid for. All I really wanted was candy. I wound up staying in a Lolly factory until it closed and missed a ferry.
I managed to get out going through a warehouse. My mother vanished at some point. I remember looking for her and realising she was never going to come back. I remember thinking I need to figure this out and do what I have to in order to get out of here. Somehow I got stuck in a lift and a security guard fixed it and said “There’s a way out through a factory just past the hotel lobby” I recognised him as someone who had passed. Three years to the day my grand father passed. I’d forgotten both of their anniversaries but I was reminded thanks to facebook when I woke up.
I’m terrible with dates.
So that changed the scene and now I was on the set of a film I worked on two years ago. It was a marketplace. My children were there cutting up fruit to put into pies. One of my amazing virtual friends was there, and her husband too. We were making pineapple pies. I said I wanted to put bananas in mine. She and her husband made this intricate top to go over each of the pies and I was admiring their handiwork. There were cherry and apple pies already on the table that were cooked. Most of the pies we made were sold. I felt really content and all I was doing was making pies with my family. I felt they were also family. We were busy but it was a good busy.
No idea what that means.
I kept biting into the pineapple and it was messy as hell. I woke up realising I was drooling while thinking about pie. By the way, I love pie.
Like honestly, I really fuckin love pie.
Behind the dream
The first part was cultural and that was obvious. Also, we have a belief that on the eve of someone’s passing the veil between worlds is thin and they connect with you through dreams.
I’m not sure about the candy thing or how that relates to my mother. I will admit though that in terms of our relationship I’ve more or less accepted we are never going to be close. I don’t need her approval or even her love. I’m thankful for what I do receive from her but I no longer actively seek her presence in my life.
The film set was interesting. In real life it was a miserable place to work but the people I was with made it great. I was also doing what I love which is acting.
Things that stood out:
- The pie: well I love pie. Baking is something that I love to do with my family. I love creating things with my hands. My two not so nearest but definitely dearest friends appearing in my dream was unexpected. I see them as soul family and perhaps that was the reference. I do feel we create something together but I wouldn’t have a clue what that is. They’re both artists and I am not, but I am often inspired to express myself creatively when I speak to A so that could be it too. Also, I haven’t had pie for ages and I’m due for one.
- The tattoo: It’s coming and it’s gonna be awesome
- Two people who have passed on: On the eve of their deaths no less. My two gladiators in the sky. Gone but never forgotten.
- My mother: she was her younger self and that seems significant. She was far colder then but I was what I am now. Perhaps no matter what I still relate on a subconscious level to the person she was and I still view her from a child’s perspective. I do know that my adult self is a little more understanding but aware of emotional manipulation tactics. My acceptance of the present stood out for me. It seemed sad but necessary.
I’m still not sure on this one. It’s probably something I need to meditate on.