Dream Interpretation · Dreams · Lucid dreaming · Lucid dreams · Thoughts

Roamin’ holiday 

This dream creeped me out a little bit. I woke up and I didn’t want to go back to sleep in the off chance I fell back into the dream again.  It had a lot of creepy vibes to it that made me feel anxious.  It was my dream but at the same time it also seemed as if I had crossed into something that was surreal and otherworldly. I couldn’t fall asleep after that even if I wanted to. It looked like it was straight out of a horror movie. It’s not like I watched a thing like that before I fell asleep.

Weird.

The dream: 

My children and I were on holiday. My ex-husband was there and we were looking for a place to stay the night. We managed to find one and the people at the reception desk were friendly and said they had a house available for all of us at a discounted rate. They looked skittish and I picked up on that but the kids were tired and grumpy so we just paid for the house for a week and immediately started moving our bags inside.

Straight away I felt something was off. The kids suddenly perked up as they do. The house was dusty so we started to clean it. I remember one of the rooms was bare and green paint was peeling off the walls. E was fixing the light fixture. Suddenly things began to shift around  and I realised we would be here a lot longer than we thought. It worried me. I went outside to tell the owners we would be leaving tomorrow and the small house where the reception used to be was old and abandoned. I realised at that moment we weren’t on holiday we were moving in. The sky, that previously looked like it was early morning. had turned darker as if in an hour or so it would be nightfall.

I went back inside and the house, which once looked like a house that hadn’t been lived in for years, was brand new. My ex looked worried. I asked him what was wrong and he said something didn’t feel right. I looked around and there was a fire burning in the hearth. I wandered through the rooms and each one had a fire that was both cozy and sinister. E told me he couldn’t remember who started the fires. It was bothering him that he was forgetting things.

In the rumpus room the kids were playing. The lights began to flicker and my  children stopped playing and looked scared. E looked over at me worried and waiting for me to do something. I felt something was coming. It was huge and dark and nothing like anything we had ever faced before. He gathered the kids close to him and held them tight.

“What are you? Who are you?” I thought but my voice sounded like I had yelled into a megaphone. The house came alive  with things shaking as if something was rattling them in response
“It doesn’t want us here”  I said to E
What doesn’t want us here?” He yelled over the noise.
“The ghosts” I replied.

The kids were terrified. I looked outside and the sky was darker now.

“We need to go NOW! Before it gets dark!”
He quickly began to pack. We threw together what we could. I frantically ran from room to room grabbing only what we needed. It had been a few hours tops but it looked like we had been living there for years. I felt sad we would not have enough time to pack everything and some of their things would have to be left behind. I felt a sense of urgency. I felt energy building like it was on the verge of exploding and It was raw dark and powerful. It would also be stronger once it was nightfall.  I gave E the task of protecting the kids and decided to put myself in the frontline. If all else failed, they at least could get away.

I hustled the kids and E outside.  I turned back to look at the kitchen and I decided to try and find out who or what it was that was trying to get us to leave. I wanted to know why. Determined, and against E’s better judgment, I turned and went back inside.

I immediately felt like I was blasted by a fire hydrant and I realised I was trapped. In situations both in dreams and awake, when I feel like there’s not a lot I can do about a situation I just tend to roll with it. When I am left with very little options I do the best I can and that is just how I am.  I am at my calmest in dire situations when everything is on the verge of collapsing. Something within me finally sparks and the anxiety disappears so I become more focused than ever. It’s hard to explain.

I felt the house come alive and left with very little options I decided to reason with it. I asked what was wrong and it responded with a sense, a feeling, that it wanted me gone. It was time for all of us to leave. I accepted that and decided to tell it that we were leaving and bid it adieu. The animosity was subdued after that and I felt a click and I was free. I started to make  a break for the door until I realised the fires were still burning. I went for a quick run through the house in an attempt to go and quell them. I saw my sons’ bubble wand , an old chair and various toys that belonged to my children that made me sad to leave behind. I started feeling the energy of the house building again and I just decided to leave it and not bother. I bolted out through the doors to where E and our children were anxiously waiting. The house calmed down and the doors shut by themselves. The fires inside went out. The house reverted back to its old state and it was empty once more. E asked “Where to from here?”  And waited for my reply.

“Follow that road, there’s something better.”  

Behind the dream: 

E has always trusted me and my dreams much more than I have ever trusted them. So when I say “I had a dream and I need to start looking for a new place to live.” He doesn’t really question it. I told him soon I’m going to get an eviction notice and it’s possible the owner was selling. I hadn’t bothered to renew my lease so I was free to leave at any time. By the time the notice came through –  and it was delayed by a week due to being delivered to the wrong address – I had already lined up a new place,  started packing and getting organised for a move.

That place never felt like home to me. It felt temporary. It is extremely isolated, high up in footfills and backed by mountains. I missed being able to be around people and the isolation was not helping my anxiety and more specifically: my agoraphobia. It is still a major struggle to go anywhere for me. I needed to be closer to the people I loved.

There is something about this house that feels so heavy. I think it is because some of the darkest times and saddest memories occurred here but there were some good things that happened here and a lot of growth occurred too. I had been feeling that it was getting close to moving on and my dream indicated it. The notice in the mail arriving was just confirmation that I was right.

Sometimes when it comes to dreams I wake up with the feeling that something is coming and the amount of chaos in the dream tells me that it is a big change. All of that chaos in this dream was that uncertainty and anxiety about that uncertainty that I felt. I don’t really cope well with change blasted on me… not at first anyway. Once the dust settles though I default into boss mode and get shit done.

Dreams like this alert me to follow my gut and the first thing that I think of. It’s never let me down and it has always been spot on so I’ve just learned to trust in that. Anything involving transport indicates literal movement and a change of scenery for me. However, a boat on water tends to indicate an emotional change and something I really need to be focused and prepared for. It is always interesting when you understand your own personal dream language, the symbols you use and what they represent to you.


Movie title: Roman Holiday

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