Over a year ago I had a dream about someone and I told him about it in a very indirect one. This person is fairly cynical and very anti-anything spiritual or mystical. I have learnt though that there’s a way to phrase these things to others regardless of their beliefs. In his case I took what I knew of his past relationships, what I knew of the lessons he wanted to take from them moving forward and what I saw in my dream. I packaged it all as “Observations.” I didn’t bother to mention that I had a dream and I never have when it comes to him. I have to respect the way he perceives the world so I just don’t go there.
First I saw a woman sitting by a campfire. She looked sad. The gist of what I got was that she felt lonely and was in pain. It could’ve been a break up or just a relationship where she felt extremely unhappy and unseen. She had a cute button nose and big bright blue eyes. Her eyes were stunning. She seemed like the kind of person that was extremely sensitive and felt everything very deeply, like harsh words could completely tear her to pieces. I felt she was creative and loved being out in nature but she also was introverted and enjoyed her own company. I felt she was looking for someone who could understand that and because I had an inkling who this dream was for I was certain that he could. His tendency to make biting remarks when he was hurt was something I wanted him to work on. I challenged him to find better, healthier coping mechanisms and to not be afraid to voice what he needed to feel safe and happy. To get out of the bad emotional habit of talking shit at something when he was hurt. It felt important and it wound up being extremely important. I also felt there was some sort of emotional manipulation from partners. Like they were dominating and forceful.
I saw her looking at old abandoned buildings and loving them. I saw her in what seemed to be a bakery and her shopping for pie. She had an annoying blonde best friend. She seemed to be in her late 30s. She was much younger than him. She loved dogs. There was a sister that seemed older she felt very close to. She seemed to move her hands a lot like she enjoyed working with them. It went back to the fire and I saw she looking in the distance for something and then she moved off towards it. I felt at the time she was moving towards him. She was focused on finding him. She was sure that if she did what felt right it would lead her to him.
As it turned out that’s exactly the approach she took in real life.
I just loved her soft and loving energy. I loved how it would compliment him. As gruff and as broken as he was underneath I knew he was a very loving person. Despite him protesting and saying otherwise. He always believed he was somewhat soulless but after meeting someone who is actually soulless (this guy makes me want to deal with ten of the dominus vs one of him ) I would say the guy, I’ll call him Jeremy, has the capacity to be just as kind and as loving as some of the best people I am privileged to know.
I said to him “Your next one might (while thinking WILL) be a brunette” and he was adamant that wouldn’t be the case because he was only into and dated redheads. “Fair enough” I said. What else could I say? People have their type. I was still fairly confident with my dream so I just accepted his answer while going “Nope” in my head.
Like me he’d really only dated the predatory type. We both enjoy the chase, the intensity and the challenge that comes with loving those types of people. I pointed out that maybe he would enjoy a change. Maybe the complete opposite could present a new type of challenge. This is something I know but don’t bother to follow right now.
And going from the vibe of the woman I saw I began to get him to think about his ideal partner. In the end what he came up with matched the type of person I saw in my dream with no prodding from me.
So fast forward to three months ago when he found her the way I thought he would. A chance encounter that involved (of all things) pie. Phrasing this was difficult so I just decided to go with “Hypothetically you COULD meet her during this…or this…or that…or this” and threw in what I actually saw.
It’s a lot easier when I can say “I had this dream and I feel it means this” or “I’m certain it means this” and just leave it up to them to decide whether or not they want to take it and think about it.
I’m glad he found her. I decided I wanted to write about something that had a happy ending. At the moment I’m stuck living with someone who just switches between two extremes and I’m getting exhausted always being on guard. I got a dream for him too but at least I was able to prepare. Since I’ve been away I decided to focus on something good and something far beyond me because right now this person is like straight out of a nightmare. I am handling it as best as I can but it is exhausting. I had nothing to do with them coming together and it was all them in the end. I think to myself that’s what it’s all about at the end of the day right? It isn’t about getting it right. It is about presenting possibilities they may not have thought of. In his case, him three years ago would’ve shrugged someone like her off.
What makes this a gift if you could name it one? (and some people do I don’t though) Is it the ability itself, the giving of it to others or both?
It’s nearly 3am here. I am so done.